Reply to 'My Dilemma'
Posted April 6, 2006
[Editors' note: Chakra wants to thank the many devotees who have responded to "My Dilemma". We are posting a sample of your letters and are forwarding others directly to the author.]
Dear aspiring devotee, Congratulations on your courage of conviction to follow Krishna consciousness. Like everything in life we are faced with a fight or flight response. Please keep in mind that whatever we chose we are still subject to the threefold miseries of life that is 1.Adidaiva - troubles from nature like tsunami, floods and such pain afflicted by nature. 2. Adibhuta-trouble caused by other individuals like your husband, or children, inimical boss or in-laws. 3.Adibhuta- our own bodies as a source of trouble like disease of the mind and body. As you have been married for 22 years you know how many adjustments you have made on the material plane to try to make life comfortable, and how it has worked only temporarily. You have been subjected to constant changes and you had the ability to ride it. Four kinds of devotees surrender to Krishna and one of them is who are in distress. Aren't we all??
That you are reaching out to Krishna is the most amazing development in your life. This is key. You will see that you are more than your body and bodily relations. When we realize that our goal is Krishna and not so called happiness in this material world we should work at getting out of this miserable situation and go back to Godhead and never take birth again. So please focus all your efforts towards that goal. When we surrender to Krishna we should be dependent entirely on his mercy. In a court of law a judge may award you a divorce and you may spend a lot of time and money towards this end. This process may consume your whole attention and further your anxiety about your future. Even if you live in the ashram you may never get over the bitterness. Guard your little seed of devotion and let it grow into a bhaktilata.
When we are put to the test we take refuge in guru and shastras. Shrila Prabhupada advised his sister in a terrible marriage, just worship the deities. That means surrender to Krishna more and more as He is the ultimate Supreme judge.
My Guru Maharaja advises us toleration "matra sparshastu kaunteya shito ushna dukha daha, agamapayino nityas tam titikshasva Bharata;" Krishna's advice given to Arjuna when he did not want to do his duty on the battlefield of Kurukshetra that is fight his beloved family members and acharyas due to attachment to them.
We have only the right to work and not to its fruits. So whatever you choose you still have to work everyday with or without happiness. Another senior devotee advised me to work like the gopis. Do all your housework diligently on the outside, but inside worship Krishna . Absorbed in love for Him you can cross this ocean of samsara. If we work hard at being Krishna consciousness that is chant His holy name, follow the regulative principles, offer bhog to him, sing His praises and dance in ecstacy, remember Him all the time in short offer your veryself He will rescue you. Our happiness lies in pleasing Krishna.
Address the paramatma feature in you spouse and not this material body. The Lord resides in everybody's heart and you can pray that He turns to Krishnaas well. Offer him prasadam everyday. Whether we are grahastas or renounced we should only depend on Krishna. It is not about him versus me. Not an either/ or question. We are all in this, suffering together, in this dukhalaya. We can take the long way home that is getting more and more entangled in maya and taking many more births or take the short way home by surrendering to Krishna. It may be lonely or troublesome but that is the only way out. We can fight each other or fight the three gunas.
My very precious quotation comes from Canto 10 ch14 text 8 : Brahma's Prayers to Lord Krishna.
My dear Lord, one who earnestly waits for YOU to bestow Your causeless mercy upon him, all the while patiently suffering the reactions of his past misdeeds and offering YOU respectful obeisances with his heart, words and body, is surely eligible for liberation, for it has become his rightful claim.
Krishna is your Prananath. Pray to Him. He will guide you.