One day of 100% adherence
Posted May 30, 2005
Misguided people say that one should accept only those parts of the scriptures that appeal to their rational minds. They also say that scriptures should be understood according to specific social and cultural contexts. But I say this it is heresy of the highest order. I am very happy that Ananta Purusottama Das chose to address this nonsensical view in his enlightening post. In fact, his posting inspired me to attempt adhering fully to vedic codes for one day, or as I call it "one day of 100% adherence". This post is an account of my delightful experiences of adhering fully to Vedic codes for this one without any deviations, and without any consideration of the so-called "social" and "cultural" factors.
First, I headed to the city's central park right after breakfast prasadam, and collected lots of Karikapurisha (For those who are ignorant of vedic paraphernalia, karikapurisha is pigeon droppings). I found it difficult to get the birds drop them fresh into my bucket, and had to contend with collecting it off the ground. The bystanders looked aghast, but what do those atheists know of Vedic codes? On my way back, I stopped by a farm to purchase a barrel of cow dung. The farmer thought that I was playing a joke on him, but when I explained to him the glories of cow-dung, his face brightened immediately. It must have been the effect of receiving this transcendental knowledge on cow dung. In fact, he even gave me an extra barrel of cow-dung absolutely free. It must have been the transcendental knowledge inspiring him to be kind towards me. I thanked the farmer for his kindness, and proceeded to head back home. As I started to drive away, I turned back and saw the farmer rolling on the ground, and uncontrollably laughing out loud and repeatedly pointing his finger in my direction. I couldn't make out what was happening, but deep down I knew that this was some form of a transcendental emotion. I headed straight home, and joyfully splashed cow dung all over my house to purify it. Unfortunately, my wife neither understood nor approved of my action. Even though she is a devotee, she was still under the illusion of Maya to understand that Vedic codes must be adhered to no less than 100%. She packed her bags, and left home with my kids.
I knew the Lord was testing me this way, and I didn't let this incident affect my resolve to adhere to Vedic codes 100%. That afternoon, I went to my college as usual. I hate to study these atheistic subjects, but I hope to eventually give it all up one day. Until then, I have to put up with their nonsense. Anyway, it was lunch time, and guess what I had in my brown bag? karikapurisha, sweetened with honey and cow dung, and some rotis. My friends at school were curious about the dish, and when I explained to them the recipe, some of them started feeling queasy and headed to the nearest washroom. I knew the Lord was cleaning them up from inside, and I smiled to myself. Then came the evening. I was heading to my parking lot, and I saw my professor and his wife walking together. I remembered Manu Samhita that one should offer prostrated obeisances to one's teacher, and clasp the feet of the teacher's wife. Manu Samhita didn't specify whether it applied only for spiritual teachers, or if it applied for material teachers as well. I didn't want to take any chances by my whimsical interpretations, which is just a product of pride. I immediately offered prostrated obeisances to my teacher, and clasped his wife's feet. Unfortunately, it freaked her out, but then following Vedic codes 100% is not always easy.
I headed straight home looking forward to a warm drink of cow urine latte. When I headed home, I saw strange-looking people in my house, attired in protective clothing and masks. They said they were from center for disease control, and that the neighbors had tipped them off because of some "obnoxious" smell emanating from my home. Obnoxious? Those rascals! One needs a spiritual nose to understand the glories of this smell. Anyway, I was taken to the local psychiatric ward for an evaluation that evening, and was released under the condition that I would check with them every other day. After a long and eventful day, I went home to get some sleep. However, I couldn't get much sleep as the smell of cow dung kept me up all night. I was worried why I couldn't appreciate this transcendental smell until I realized that I was being given a first-hand experience of what it takes to be a "Gudakesa", or conqueror of sleep.
My dear devotees, I must offer my sincere gratitude to Ananta
Purusottama Prabhu for inspiring me with this idea. As he had so
beautifully explained, I lost all my pride and vanity just in this one
glorious day of 100% adherence. Even more importantly, my psychiatrist
says that I have lost my mind. That gives me even greater pleasure, as
transcending the mental platform is a step closer to self-realization.
Of course, rational thoughts hit me now and then, but I am confident
that it would all go away with continued practice of adhering to vedic
codes without any deviation, and without any consideration of social
and cultural norms.