A letter of goodbye to everyone
Posted February 8, 2005
Please accept my humble obeisances.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
Recently I read on Nikunja's Alachua website about some things concerning the Alachua women's efforts associated with the resolutions for women and the GBC 2000 women's panel meetings etc. There was a photo of the gathering of women at Nirmala's home this month.
I am completely finished with all aspects of the society but I believe very strongly in what I am about to say therefore I am leaving it as my last statement to the Movement as a whole. This also may help you see that I believe after much thorough consideration the blame and responsibility of all the stone cold misogynistic behavior of the devotees belongs on both sexes shoulders.
The plight of women in religious societies is so deeply meshed in misunderstanding and repression the problems cannot be fixed from within the frenzy of hollow chatter and empty declarations especially when there is no resultant positive action. The energy of women is wasted in such arenas. These methods will not work for us for women are of a different nature and intent. There is no allowance for our potential within the structure of these institutions (this refers to any religious institution as well as the Krishna cult camps as I am completely nonsectarian in my belief that they have all miserably failed in the areas of social behavior and spiritual energy balance). For women we must begin to act in the mystic realm of true feminine creativity. To do that one must be completely free.
In other words, as any strong southern woman would say..."All you women need to bale...and start a spiritual revolution!"
I once stood watching all the craziness, dumbfounded. I was caught in the cross fires for much too long, but now I realize there is nothing that can be done for the women from the inside. 'Equal rights' however termed spiritual is no more than 'a bone for the dogs'. What is really needed is the integrity of self empowerment, unleashed by our true feminine natures. Problem is the mere thought of activating this uniquely feminine energy is socially horrifying both to the men and to programmed women of iskcon.
Almost none inside the Movement are aware of this aspect of women's mystic contributions (though it is talked about in the religious rhetoric and the few stories in the books). Those who may be slightly aware of its true nature and possibilities squelch it and box it into the confinement of bodily role playing out of fear...even the women do this to themselves. Though feminine power is absolutely necessary it is noticeably silent in iskcon. What a shame, since it is the soft power of incredible healing potential and is so close within our reach.
As it stands now the poison inside institutional religions are too thick and the women who should rightfully be the ones making all the statements and all the changes for themselves fearlessly are divisive against even one another in their strategies. NOTE: This is due not to 'envy' as is the propaganda of each dogma but to their innocent inexperienced attempts to conform to overt male power structures only. Round pegs - square holes.
The imbalanced methodology of women trying to access their empowerment in the realm of male domination is simply killing the essential spirit of feminine contribution.
Devotees have historically as a people blindly left out input from the women who could really help them! These are the women who have gone away on their own to soul search for themselves finding it too frustrating and draining to mechanically attend meeting after meeting to talk about planning more meetings. In such dull meetings often dull men sit around their table drooling and banging gavels to wake themselves while the women sit trembling in fear that they may say the wrong thing or worse yet not be heard...yet again. THere is no more time for this ineptitude.
What is needed is in the mystic. There is our power and our salvation.
Please try to awaken in others the reality of the fact that for the most part we women who have left(and dare I say it? especially lesbian women) could have been not only helpful but strategic on many levels in terms of experience, balance, power, and intuitive psychic ability...sadly though, we are gone from you now. We have come freely to the realization that if we are to go on living with dignity and be able to prime our energy back to the flowing rivers they have the potential to be, we must separate ourselves from the stagnation of the long dying dream. Spiritual equality cannot be lived out inside these archaic systems in this Age. There is no room there for what women have to offer.
Not long ago I sent a letter to ISKCON Communications Journal editor concerning the fact that my panel presentation for the year 2000 GBC/women meetings was still not included anywhere in print nor available to the public though everyone else on the women's panel was listed. My name is not even listed as a panel member. Funny, I was requested to go by many women in that Movement,. I was funded by Bhakti Tirtha Swami to fly to the Mayapura meetings. And, I distinctly remember my presentation before the GBC very clearly as if it were yesterday. Yet for some reason I am erased from its history. This raises other interesting issues...
But I will stop here no use 'beating a dead horse' is there? Besides, I don't believe in beating horses whether alive or dead. So good bye to all of you it has been a wild ride.
with love and prayers,