Stop the Suicide
Posted June 17, 2006
Suicide does not solve problems, but only causes long lasting grief for those you leave behind. I appeal to all gurukula abuse survivors to speak out and reach out for help. If you are depressed please get someone to listen to your story. You can contact me, or someone you trust from your own circles. You can always find me through my website, Surrealist.org.
Here are nine myths about suicide, based on a 1992 Ann Landers column:
- They'd be better off without me. This is a mistake. Suicide is permanent, while problems are temporary. Those who love you want you around, problems and all.
- They'll get over it. Not true. Family and friends left behind suffer terribly over many years. You killing yourself changes their life forever. A suicide is difficult to ever accept. People tend to blame themselves and will feel horrible every time they think of you, for the rest of their lives.
- I'll leave a note and explain everything. Wrong again. Notes just create more confusion and unanswered questions. It becomes a one-sided conversation, where you refuse to discuss anything further. It's a very selfish position.
- I have no friends. That is incorrect. You may have a bad attitude about people, but there are always opportunity to make new friends. You have to reach out, because most people are a little shy when it comes to making friends. The care, but sometimes people just don't show it. Further, true friends will be there for you, even if you don't communicate with them for years. If you take the time to get in contact, you pick up exactly where you left off.
- I have a drug or alcohol problem that I can't beat. That's not true. People quit using drugs and alcohol all the time, so you can too. It takes guts. Facing your challenges is the way to succeed, not by running away.
- My money problems are impossible to resolve. Again, not true. Over the course of a lifetime, many people have overcome low self-esteem and ended up in satisfying careers. You have to stay alive to do this. Suicide just sets you back even further, in case you believe in reincarnation.
- I've embarrassed and hurt my family. So what. We all embarrass and hurt our families. They'll get over it, but they will never get over it if they lose you.
- I'm mad. I'll show them. Again, this is a temporary situation. Anger is a symptom that someone or some situation has crossed your boundaries. Better to find out what is wrong and take action to correct it and validate your emotional boundaries. Taking it out on yourself by through suicide prevents any resolution.
- The special person in my life doesn't love me. He or she walked out on me. This is an illusion. If someone loves you, the person will be back. If not, keep looking. Maybe that soul mate was not right for you. If you keep looking, you will find a better soul mate. Suicide cannot solve this problem, but only hurt the person you think has rejected you.
You can read my memorial to Ananda McClure, which includes excerpts from our 1998 interview: