Chakra Discussions

Gays in the Asrama

Gaurachandra dasi

Posted March 28, 2005

Thanks Amara for your artical, "Gays need not apply". As a brahmacharini for 8 years my temple president never asked and I never told him either I was a lesbian. My own celibacy surpassed every other brahmacarini (and brahmacary) that joined up within a decade of my joining Krsna Consciousness.

The women would come, they would leave to get married. More women would come and again marry.

What in the world goes on in this grhasta asrama anyway?

One night during a thunderstorm a knock came at the window of our brahmacharini asrama. Our asrama was 3 flights up and it was raining very hard. I opened the window to find a woman hanging onto the gutters outside. She climbed out the window of her grhasta asrama, over the roof top and down to our windows to escape her devotee husband. The roof tiles were very slippery, this mataji could have slipped and killed herself. Either that or her husband would have killed her, a risk she had to take. her thin nightgown was soaked and torn, the wetness made her body visible. from her breast she was bleeding from scraping herself on a roof nail.

I paid attention to Bhagavatam Classes. Srila Prabhuapda says, that woman should be seen as mother. As i wrapped the wet devotee in my gumsha's drying her off, i did not care for her body nor was i agitated in anyway whatsoever. Although this woman was the same age and I and quite beautiful- She was mother. Never once did I expereince illicit feelings towards touching her body, assisting in nursing her breast wound or allowing her to sleep that night on my bunk, in my sleeping bag. Because she was my mother, I slept on the floor that night.

I wonder had she knocked on the window of the brahmacary asrama would the men let her in, could the men dry her body, nurse her wound and give up their comfortable sleeping arrangments to serve mother?

By Krsna's mercy Srila Prabhupada gave us a solution to our illicit desires. To see all women except ones wife as mother and to see all men, not ones husband as son. And so I lived in the asrama 8 years....

The next day I went before the murti of Srila Prabhupada and offered him my prayers privately. I made a vow before Srila Prabhupada and The Deities- whose curtains were open. " If you desire to send me a wife someday, how i wish so much to have just one wife to protect and cherish- i promise I would never hurt her the way this male devotee hurt his wife"

Because you see, Krsna already knew I was lesbian, no secrets between God, Guru and I. Although i was not acting in any sexual way, nor desired to do, my nature was to hope someday I could have a wife. That day did come years later, had i not been trained first who knows where i would be now. training must come first.

My experiences can be applicable to gay men as well. While in the asrama, celibacy is absolute. Why the temples grhasta asramas allows domestic violence on ISKCON property astounds me!

there are many things these heterosexuals do that bewilder me. For example, a devotee husband looses his income/employment and after 6 months his wife ends up 3 months pregnant. I wonder where this man's intelligence is? why would he want to procreate a child after loosing his job? How many times I hear the ladies talking over prasadam how this pregnancy came as a surprise.

Has anybody heard of Garbo samscara first?

I scratch my head... whoa.... folks we need to get back to reading the Bhagavatam!