Exchange Between Danistha And Siddhanta Prabhus
Posted November 12, 2005
Dear Dhanishta prabhu,
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada! Having just read your article on Chakra I want to apologize to you personally rather than on the web, for offending you in any way by not publishing your interview as of yet. I told you that there were one or two stories that would make it into the series but as I put out a tape/DVD only once every 3 or 4 months it takes a while for the interviews to make it out into the public. You are not the only one to be sitting on the shelf for a while. For example, I interviewed Bhaktisiddhanta dasa in Vrndavana in 1999 and his as of yet have not seen the light of day either. I should also mention that there is not one devotee, male or female, whose entire interview has made the video series without deleting some stories that were either already told by someone else or deemed unable to meet the criteria of either learning of one of Srila Prabhupada's qualities or learning a lesson from one of his instructions to that devotee. I know there are probably many voodoo dolls around the world in my image with many pins stuck in it for not including the devotee's entire interview. I will try and make up for any offense, however, by transcribing your entire interview and posting it on Chakra for the world to read your memories of His Divine Grace.
I always appreciate your responses.
Don't worry, it's not you alone getting the pinpricks, it is us, as a world organization that has left out too much too many to count. So from time to time any public store front or forum becomes good ground for getting everything out and clearing the air. The truth is always better than derelict repression with lonely suicidal depression its result.
I totally realize your ITV is a positive uplifting attempt to show some of the wholesome and memorable delights of our experience as Krishna devotees with Prabhupada. Only trouble is almost none of us women are able to overcome our ever rising pain and many hundreds cannot even come near the happy face put on such presentations. The conflicting emotions brought up by the truth of our own personal stories versus the publicly available recordings of ISKCON history in (text or video format) soundbites us to death leaving gashing wounds in our psyche as to what we know was/is the reality and what has been done systematically to that reality in order to tidy up ISKCON for the court rooms of the powers that be.
The soothing balm you provide in Prabhupada memories is vital but our wounds still bleed and our hearts still beat out static memories in our brains of an ugly abusive past history. It is hard for most of us women to keep from going crazy for hundreds of us did not get but fleeting glimpses of Prabhupada from behind the dhotis and dandas if that.
So though we experienced the very same Movement portrayed by you all in texts, documentaries and video memories as solely delightful and transcendental we remember our stories back in the bushes, down in the basements, up in the attics, and out on the road, when we women and children were being beaten, raped, and tortured right along side your time line videos and the 95% portrayal of men in the Movement telling their stories of ecstasy with Srila Prabhupada over and over.
You can print this letter to you from me in Chakra if you want along with any transcription you may display publicly anywhere.
Your work is esteemed forever and you are brave to keep enduring discourse with me.
Especially appreciating your support toward our side of the truth being revealed.
love and prayers,