An Open Letter To Itv And Chakra Readers
Posted November 6, 2005
Hare Krishna, ITV I recently read your notice on chakra concerning the next video coming of Prabhupada memories. Realizing you aren't going to put the memories you taped of me at New Vrndavana a couple of years back out to the public, I have come to accept and understand why.
A person such as myself should not be considering herself worthy of documentaton. This would be, for myself at least, an arrogant and false assumption... It is true to date that I am no way near as much an important part of the history and herstory of the Hare Krishna Movement nor as notible a disciple of Srila Prabhupada as the others you have filmed. It would be ludicrous for me to think so. I have no standard.
Nevertheless, somehow (and note it is quite the miracle that I still feel anything at all) I do FEEL my experiences and all other women disciples of Srila Prabhupada's Movement are somewhat significant due the outcomes at present. At least, in my presentation I was completely honest not half truths in my speaking my memories on your videos and in writing my own books which are ongoing efforts.
We women have played some bearing on the Movement's history/herstory. The ultimate results we all face today - whether good or quite devastatingly bad - are the results we must deal with in the real world in order to sruvive and grow conscious. If you look around and open your eyes honestly you will see 97% of the original women of ISKCON are dead and/or gone from your Institution. There is no time to delay gathering their stories most are already lost forever.
Again, I realize, I am no one to judge who should be heard from in this regard. I speak out simply because no one else seems to want to do it with the passionate impact needed to break down the walls of silence and dishonesty = half truths are only covered lies. I don't care your judgement anymore upon me so I speak on occasion. What I write or speak is usually banned and silenced in your media air waves anyway so I may as well finish just to let off the pressure that builds with every death or silenced opportunity of one of my godsisters who never got the nerve or forum needed to speak her truths out loud. I expect censure will happen to this letter as well.
No matter, I am expressing the anguish of my heart at having seen so many questionable and even notorious characters notibly many of those whom I have seen first hand or heard the stories first hand...their infamous hideous abuses and perversions perpretrated upon the backs of my Godsisters and the children. These vampires are many among the men you have filmed, honored on chakra, and quoted numerous times. It seems as if you expect we women should swallow the past in a sugar coating of Prabhupada Memories and gold guilded marble palaces while the effects of the poison truth inside us continues to bleed our spirits dry in a silenced requeim for minorities.
It seems we are not worthy of being heard unless only in half truths. You cannot tell a history and only tell what is flowery and easy to swallow. Where would the Bhagavatam be if that were the case? None of us would have ever heard of the bloody battle of Kuruksetra which duly resulted because of crimes against and the disrobing of a saintly woman while the supposed 'great men' hung their heads and did nothing about the travesty in silent shame. History repeats...
I would name the cruel characters of whom I speak today, but you know most of them as does everyone else. The psychological abuse and physical rapes these men carried out upon the minds and backs of thousands of women,children,and boys is documented on occasion here and there. Unfortunately the larger part of it is silenced. In this censure lies a disheartened and rotting though once original and vibrant feminine root vital to the family tree of Srila Prabhupada...
But what could I expect from you anyway? You were never raped or beaten or humiliated beyond human imagination like our children women and innocent gentle boys. So you continue to honor the good old boys club and to neglect the better half.
Whether it ever be my personal stories is not at all important but consider there are three to four thousand women disciples of Prabhupada whose stories are yet to be heard.
Prabhupada told us he was offering a house in which the whole world could live. If we are to consider ISKCON that house then our history without herstory makes him a liar. Because I know this cannot be the case, I live in another room of his house now beyond the reach of ISKCON for his roof is not just over the heads of a few but extends to the bowed heads of thousands beyond any artificial institutional vision or reach.
May all the stories be heard in full someday real
soon. That is my service and this is my offering.