My mother's auspicious passing away
Posted September 26, 2004
Hare Krsna. My name is Isani dasi. I have been trying to be a devotee for 19 years. When I first took to Krsna Consciousness I told my mother it was sinful to eat meat so she gave it up and never again ate meat. I gave her a bead bag and some beads and she would occasionally chant when my family visited. She was very favourable, loved prasadam, and would read Krsna Book as a bedtime story to my children when they were younger. Over the years she met many devotees and would always ask after their children. My mother even met Satsvarupa Maharaja, Tribuvanatha, and Kripa Moya from the Manor, whom she regularly referred to.
She was very ill when she was hospitalized as she had neglected her health and not informed anyone how sick she was.
I gave her a maha necklace from Srimate Radharani here on Govindadwipa and told her not to take it off. She promised to keep it on always and got into a lot of trouble for refusing to remove it even for surgical procedures, but she was determined.
My mum (Brenda) deteriorated in hospital, she was 70 miles from us here but myself, husband Manu and children visited regularly. Last Wednesday I though it time to stop making small talk so I asked her would she like me to chant. The reply was encouraging,'Chant so I can hear you,' so I took this as my opportunity to use as much time as possible to chant, read to her, sing bhajans, quote slokas, occasionally sprinkle a little Vrndavana dust on her head or a tiny crumb of Tulasi Manjari in her mouth.
After this Krsna presented many opportunities when either myself or husband were alone with her to continue in this manner. On the Friday night of Sept 17th she was moved into a private side ward. I was elated as this meant I could chant with abandon. During that night I chanted and read. We had recently acquired Sivarama Maharaja's wonderful new book Krsna-sangati, so I would alternate that with the Bhagavad-Gita. On the Saturday throughout the day and evening Manu joined me and for hours we read and chanted, and, still being conscious she encouraged us with eye contact and little nods of the head.
At times other visitors were there and we took this opportunity to have a break.
On Sunday night I settled down with Krsna-sangati as reading matter. After some time I felt sleepy so I switched to singing Jaya Radha Madhava, and Nrsimha Prayers, and alternatively chanting Hare Krsna. Her breathing became more laboured so I chanted more loudly walked round the bed and sprinkled Vrndavana dust on her head and a little manjari in her mouth as she left her body. I continued to chant next to her ear for 15 mins before I alerted someone. They confirmed her dead and asked me if I wanted anything, so I asked to be left alone with her to pray, taking the opportunity to chant for another 45 minutes.
There is no doubt that Krsna simply used me as an instrument and in those difficult circumstances gave me an opportunity and the strength to persevere to be with my mother in her hour of need, which I feel very honoured to have been. She left early in the morning after the Radhasthami celebrations. I would like to thank the devotees of Govindadwipa for their prayers on that day and most especially to Srila Prabhupada for all his instructions and information concerning the time of death.
aspiring servant of the devotees