His Holiness Sridhar Swami
Posted March 26, 2004
Dear Sridhar Maharaja,
Please accept my most humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
I'll miss you, Maharaja. When we embraced that last time in Mayapura, you said, "any longer and it will mean good-bye." We both knew it did.
I'll especially miss your charming sense of humor, you know, the one that prompted you to say, with your impish grin, to the doctor as he looked at your swollen tummy, "it's a boy!" In the face of the pain you went through in the last part of your life with us, that jolly spirit told us a lot about your spiritual position.
In a sense, the passing of someone dear is harder on the dear ones than on the person passing away. I am relieved that you are no longer in pain but rather in the ecstasy of reuniting with our beloved spiritual master and some of his most intimate disciples. We who are left behind are the one's who are left to grieve in this place of suffering.
You were in anxiety about how the movement needed to be pushed on, how it would go on after all of us who saw Srila Prabhupada in action are no longer here, how the temple in Mayapura would get built. I take it that your disappearance on the day of the appearance of Srivasa Thakura, whom you served with all your heart the day of the installation of the Pancatattva, along with many of those who are prime movers in the areas your were concerned with, says something about that.
The Lord intervened to take you in a wonderful way, Maharaja, surrounded as you were with loving disciples and friends holding kirtan, and with your eyes fixed on Srila Prabhupada. I'm happy for that because I know one of your biggest fears was to go into a coma and not come out, not to be able to be near us at the moment of your passing.
The talk you gave on the disappearance day of Goswami Maharaja was touching to say the least. You defined love in such simple, clear, basic, sweet terms that we all felt our capacity to love increase.
Your desires for service were pure Maharaja, as were your aspirations for our movement. I'm sure they won't go in vain.
You are very fortunate, Maharaja. I beg for your mercy so that I can become so fortunate.
I remain as always
Kesava Bharati Dasa Goswami